RE-DEFINING THE DEFINITION OF A SNOB

A recent weekend getaway invoked me to re-think what constitutes being defined as a “snob”. In the traditional sense of the word, “snob” gives rise to thoughts of someone who is arrogant, rude and disrespectful. I don’t fit that definition; however, it is fair to say that I have an appreciation for the finer things in life, but I also have an extremely grateful, down-to-earth nature. Throughout this trip, I had what I would like to call “Snob Moments” that hit me a little by surprise and prompted me to think that perhaps I am a snob, but only by my definition.

My friend Sheila and I decided that we would take a weekend trip to Victoria for her birthday. Victoria is the capital of British Columbia, Canada and is located on Vancouver Island--it is a beautiful city with a gorgeous inner harbour laced with a variety of outstanding buildings built back at the turn of the 20th century. Victoria was named in honour of Queen Victoria and as such, the city has many British-like qualities to it, hence the reason why I feel somewhat at home there. Of the beautiful buidlings in the harbour, the most notable is The Empress Hotel...which, we were going to be staying at, because, quite frankly, there is no other place to stay whilst in Victoria.

A trip to Victoria always starts with a ferry ride if you live on the mainland. I noticed that at both Tsawwassen and Schwartz Bay terminals, there is always a little market with a group of shops--if you like hats and scarves (which I do), then these markets are the BEST place to get hats and scarves of all sorts. I picked up an awesome navy captain’s hat...from the rack versus from an actual captain, wink wink.

Once we arrived on Vancouver Island, we headed straight to Cordova Bay Golf Course as our first point of interest, only to find out that a golf tournament just started, so we did a round at their putting course. We were sure the green had some weird magnetic issue that pulled the ball away from the hole. Snob Moment No. 1 - Putting Course Snob, came not because I was having rough time on the putting course but rather because it wasn’t really a course--just an elaborate putting green. I’ve been to proper putting courses where it’s like a miniature golf course...but this was just not up to par (no pun intended).

Craigdarroch Castle

Our next stop was Craigdarroch Castle--a beautiful little castle in the heart of Victoria that was once the home of the Dunsmuir family. In the past, I have obtained from their gift shop a replica of Lady Dunsmuir’s travel clock and a tiara, amongst other things. I noticed something happened when we drove up to the castle. Usually, I get very excited at the anticipation of seeing and being near old things. Given I had been to Britain two years in a row now and had stepped into some of the most spectacular castles that were not just a century old but rather several centuries old, I just wasn’t impressed by this castle anymore--it did nothing for me at all. Sheila happened to feel the same way, so in Snob Moment No. 2 - Castle Snob, I did not feel alone. We scoffed at the poor stone masonry along with the steep price of admission. Britain offers up their heritage at either no cost or a very minimal cost in order for the enjoyment of everyone, and for generations to come. We snapped a few photos of the outside, popped into the gift shop so I could pick up a cheap tiara-like headband (left mine at home by mistake and needed it for high tea the next day--Snob Moment No. 3 - Tiara Snob, and off we went for a bite to eat at the Sticky Wicket.

The Sticky Wicket is one of Victoria’s best and most lively bars--it boasts 4 stories with an awesome roof-top deck that even has two beach volleyball courts on it. The food is fantastic and so are the brews. I had their quinoa burger and it was amazing! I am VERY picky about my veggie burgers and this one was tops--a little goat cheese and spinach to boot--delish! Since it was chilly out, we passed on the outdoor eating but went up in the world’s slowest elevator to the 4th floor to check out the roof before we headed to our hotel.

My Favourite Hotel - The Empress

This is where the MAJOR excitement set in for me. We were staying at The Empress! The Empress is THE grande dame of hotels in Canada and is owned by Fairmont. They have done a wonderful job of restoring the hotel to its heyday grandure and it exudes first class in every aspect, from the interior, to the guest rooms, and to the courteous and gracious staff--everything is perfect. I scored a wicked deal thanks to my corporate discount and my insatiable ability to flirt with the reservation clerks (who, late at night, are mostly men). We were going to be staying in one of the Fairmont Gold rooms. The Gold rooms are on a floor that have their own check in and concierge. And here is the piece de resistance: it has its very own, what I like to call, “special food room”--a beautifully furnished lounge only for people staying on that floor, with afternoon snacks, evening hors d'oeuvres, and a breakfast buffet--all complimentary! You are treated like absolute royalty (enter Snob Moment No. 4 - Hotel Snob, as I do believe that I was royalty in a past life thanks to a tarot card reader that told me so). They also upgraded our room to a junior suite with a harbour view at no cost--it was wonderful! It was Sheila’s birthday and because they knew that in advance, they had a nice card wishing her happy birthday and a cute little cup and spoon made of chocolate waiting for us in the room.

Delicious Chocolate Birthday Treat for Sheila

We wasted no time in making our way into the special food room for a little dessert, even though we literally just finished a nice heavy meal at the Sticky Wicket what almost seemed like moments ago. We sat in comfy leather chairs just staring out at the harbour whilst delving into our macaroons that were flown in from France - Snob Moment No. 5 - Macaroon Snob. They were absolutely incredible--perfect texture and not too sweet. I may have waved to a few people who were curiously looking up at us, wondering “Who are those people up there?”. It was actually a little reminiscent of my childhood in that I was the one always looking up at the hotel and its guests with awe and curiosity.
Once we had our fill, we headed out, and in good ol’ Victoria fashion, no sooner had we stepped out of the hotel when a barrage of naked bike-riding protestors rode by. I scrambled for my camera but it was too late--I got a blurry pic of one naked butt-cheek and that was it (maybe it was just as well). To us, it wasn’t a big deal, but to the tourists visiting from other countries where they don’t protest naked, it may have come as a shock judging by the look on a few horrified faces. Moving on, we took a stroll down Government, headed up Fort, popped into the mall so I could grab a cheap bathing suit (I accidentally left mine at home and was certain I would need a hot tub later that night), and worked our way to Russell Books--the holy grail of all books stores, in my opinion. They just opened a lower floor of vintage books, and to my pleasure, I found the cutest little 1940’s published Through The Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll--almost exactly what I was looking for. I am very particular about my old books, and although I would have preferred one published in England versus New York (Snob Moment No. 6 - Vintage Book Snob), this one would do. I was privileged to learn quite a bit about Lewis Carroll when I was in Oxford a few years back, and so finding this book was quite nice.

We did stroll past the Dutch Bakery, which is a couple of stores down from the book shop. I’ve been going there since I was 5 years old--the same family owns it too. When in Victoria, it’s tradition with my family to have a croquette with mustard and a dollar roll (savory and sweet) from the bakery--and to further the tradition, I usually call my Dad while eating the croquette just to rub it in his face (it’s a family thing), but I just couldn’t fathom the thought as I could literally stuff nothing further into my mouth at that time or I may have been physically ill on the spot, and no one should be sick outside the Dutch Bakery, ever.

We quenched our thirst at Murchie’s and realized that we were both going to pass out if we sat any longer given we were both deprived of sleep the night before. I don’t mind missing sleep if it is for “good reason”, again, wink wink. But if it’s because the cat keeps walking across my face at 2am, then yeah, I mind. So we agreed that a Harbour Ferry ride would do the trick to pull us out of our apparent food coma. And what perfect timing--the weather was just starting to clear up!

View from the Harbour Ferry

Harbour Ferries are awesome--they are like little water taxis that can take you to a few points of interest for a reasonable cost, either within the harbour, or, if you like, you can do a longer run up the Gorge. We did the shorter run and hopped off at Fisherman’s Wharf. The big attraction (outside of a gorgeous outdoorsy guy who smiled at me as he walked by us with his bike) are the seals--how handy that there is a fresh seafood shop right at the water’s edge.

Sure enough, in a matter of moments, THE largest seal I’ve seen in awhile swam right up to take the dangling fish out of an excited child’s hand. When I was younger, my Dad had a good friend who was the head trainer for the orca whales at the Vancouver Aquarium (this was back in the 70’s), and, thanks to spending half my childhood there behind the scenes as well as volunteering in my adult years, I have developed a huge affinity and comfort level with all sea creatures. It took everything I had not to want to jump in the water with the seal--it was the water that looked a little frightening or else I would have.

Giant Cute Seal at Fisherman's Wharf

On our way back, all we could think about was making sure that we made it in time for the hors d'oeuvres that were waiting for us in the special food room back at the hotel. They were delish! I will acknowledge Snob Moment No. 7 - Cheese Snob, only because I had the most fantastic brie (that was also imported from France) and can truly appreciate the subtleties of the flavours within the cheese--but the reality is, dairy just doesn’t work for me, so the Cheese Snob is something I will have to part with. We had our usual table that overlooked the front of the hotel and harbour and we both realized that we could get very used to this lifestyle very quickly! We had dinner reservations at 8pm at the Wharfside Restaurant so we had a little time to kill at the hotel gift shop. I have been a Friend of the Empress (an awesome loyalty program) for a number of years that gives you various privileges in the hotel as well as at some of the attractions in the city. Snob Moment No. 8 - Tea Snob, arrived when I gave my two cents to the ladies running the shop about the benefits of loose tea versus bagged tea (there’s a joke here based on what I just said that I’ll pass on right now) and also ensuring that the tea is drank from fine bone china--that is a must as it truly does make the tea taste better. I added one item to my Empress House Collection--a beautiful square plate for my scones. There’s a reason why I have to slowly add to this collection--I’m sure you can guess why.

Guest List when The Empress Opened in 1909

We did a wander around the hotel to snap a few photos and to see if we could get a glimpse of Francis Rattenbury (the hotel’s architect who is thought to haunt the basement where the archives are). Unfortunately we didn’t see him--I would have liked to, but then again, I’m weird that way.

Sure enough, it was time for dinner! We had the most delicious and unique martini with the “surpise” rim...sounds a little creepy but it was actually blue kool-aid.

I don’t drink much, so this really did it for me--I don’t need ANYTHING to make me more hyper than I already am naturally...poor Sheila had to suffer through it. We could barely finish our meals, in fact we didn’t (their salmon wellington is fantastic though), and wouldn’t you know it, it was already time for our ghost walk.

Tasty Martini with the "Surprise" Rim

Victoria is known to be the most haunted city in British Columbia thanks to essentially being built on Native Indian burial grounds. There are so many stories of tragedy and horrible circumstance, some of which took place in The Empress for that matter, and in areas all around the inner harbour. Ghost Walks is one of the most popular ghost walk tours, and it was started by John Adams, a famous local historian. He still runs them, and this particular night his son did our walk. Being taken to the various sites on the walk while being told the stories is quite fun and fascinating. Unfortunately I didn’t capture anything on film nor did I have any kind of paranormal experience but it was great nonetheless. And, doing a quick shop for a bathing suit earlier was becoming growingly important given we were both freezing after the hour and a half of being out in the cold. We scooted back to the hotel and got in that hot tub as quickly as humanly possible. There is something I just love about smelling like chlorine before going to bed when I am on vacation--you just know you’re on vacation because how else are you going to bed smelling like that.

The next morning, we had our plan of enjoying our delicious breakfast in the special food room--I’ll be damned if that brie wasn’t there again, so I had the tiniest bit to satisfy my palette, and then after breakfast, there was of potential going to the Royal BC Museum. I’ve been to some fine museums in some of the biggest cities, and I have to say, this one is pretty spectacular. The sunny weather outside was pulling us in a different direction though, so we passed on the museum this time. We snapped a few photos of the Parliament Buildings (which were also designed by Francis Rattenbury incidentally, along with the CPR terminal building that will now house the Robert Bateman Experience).

Fountain in front of Parliament

Enter Snob Moment No. 9 - Wishing-Fountain Snob, whereby I discovered that I have a very defined and self-created process for throwing a coin into a fountain to make a wish. The look on Sheila’s face was priceless as I made the suggestion but then stipulated what needed to be done in advance, reviewed the dates on the dimes we were using to ensure they had some particular meaning to each of us, explained how the coin should be tossed, how the wish should be visualized, which way to toss the coin and what to do when it actually is tossed. I really think I’m mental--and so does she, in fact, so do most of my friends. Crazy or not, it should be noted that I’ve tossed a lot of coins into a lot of fountains, in a lot of places, and made a lot of wishes...and they all have come true...so ha!

We then mused around the old Bastion Square Market, did a little window shopping, and before making our way back to The Empress for high tea, we stopped into Rogers Chocolates. I picked up a few fine confectionaries for my Mom and perhaps a few for myself, and without thinking about what I was saying while I was paying, asked the young clerk if she’s seen anything flying around in the back of the shop as of late. Probably a bit of a mistake given she went white as a ghost (pun intended)--Rogers Chocolates is famous for it being haunted. In fact, the girls were telling me last time I was there all about it--I even captured something on film. Clearly this staff member was new and not too welcoming of that news--oh well.

High Tea Goodness at The Empress

It was time to eat, yet again, and this time it was High Tea at The Empress. There is no better place to have High Tea--it is simply marvelous and given I am very particular about how High Tea is done, this is indeed Snob Moment No. 10 - High Tea Snob. The ambiance of the hotel, the decor, the china, the service, the view, the piano, the silver, the little sandwiches, the scones, the preserves, the clotted cream, the miniature incredibly detailed desserts, and of course the tea...all so perfect. I will admit, it was the first time I could not finish everything--perhaps it was the ridiculous amount of food we had been consuming since the moment we started the trip? Fortunately, you can take what is left as take-away, and so we had a little snack for on the way to the ferry.

We reluctantly went down to the main lobby to retrieve our luggage and vehicle...an overwhelming feeling of sadness swept over us as we said good bye to this lovely place. When the hotel valet brought my car around, I couldn’t help myself and asked him if they took it for a joy ride--even the sheepishly adorable grin on the young man’s face was going to be missed...ok, now I’m just being silly--he was cute though and found me quite amusing.

Cordova Bay Golf Course

We drove away actually waving and shouting good bye to the hotel. But within moments got excited again about the prospect of playing the round of golf we intended on playing on our way in. It was fantastic! Sheila is new to golf and did just amazing! Cordova Bay has some of the most stunning views as well, so I made sure the camera was packed in the golf bag. Once done, we ate our somewhat warmed tea left-overs and headed to the ferry. I didn’t buy another hat at the market, but I found some great scarves and headbands, and a belly-dancing waist scarf with jingling coins all over it (big smile)! I then found out that the special room (this is a different special room from The Empress but a BC Ferries reasonable facsimile if you will, called the Seawest Lounge) was on this ferry, and it was quite frankly, the end to the perfect weekend away. To understand the full benefit of the Seawest Lounge and how it is responsible for my sanity on board the ferries, you will have to read my blog entitled “A Bus Ride and A Special Room”. You will then be able to also deduce why my final snob moment arises and is called Snob Moment No. 11 - Can’t Stand Noise On The Ferry Snob.

And so there you have it--a little piece of Victoria laid out over a weekend of snobbery, along with good friendship, tasty food, and fabulous adventure.

My Parents...Insanity Now, and Even More Insanity Later

I’m not sure what has prompted me to write about my parents...maybe it’s because my jaw has continuously dropped to the floor a few too many times lately in utter disbelief.

I love my parents very much, and they know that because I tell them all the time.  We have such a good time together and I feel extremely fortunate to have the relationship I do with them.  So everything I am about to say is in good humour...and humour is exactly what I am finding in all these “situations” we seem to be experiencing, along with   astonishment, and at times, frustration.  Maybe it’s the generation?  Maybe it’s the pressure to fit into a new tech-savvy world that has been thrust upon them?  Maybe it’s us as the kids that are creating expectations for our parents that they just can’t meet?

They really try their best to adapt to the world of technology.  The other day, my Mom insisted that she just missed a call on her cell phone from me, even though it was 5 hours later.  And that’s when she actually has the phone with her or if it’s actually on.  My Dad’s answer to anything these days is “We can just Photoshop that”...yes, he happens to be a professional photographer, but Photoshop doesn’t apply to anything but photos last time I checked.  When you’re using that phrase for everything, that becomes a problem.  It’s also a problem if you can’t use Photoshop effectively when using the teeth-whitening tool--he sent me a “touched up” photo of him and my Mom from Christmas, and I just about fell off my chair given they both looked like a bleaching experiment gone bad.   

The bulk of the population can book airline tickets on line--not much can go wrong, you just follow along with the screens.  So when I get calls from my mother describing that the computer “just did something” and when asked what happened, she just kept repeating “I don’t know--it’s so stupid--you’ll just have to come over and see--I, I can’t describe it.”  Then my Dad feels he has to add in his idea for a solution, and that’s just to go right to the airport and buy the tickets there.  I didn’t even know how to respond to that one.  

And then they got a tablet for purchasing their cable, internet and phone all in one go...why?  There should be an age limit for giving those things out.  I would personally like to thank Telus for making my life more difficult now--it wasn’t bad enough that I get the usual computer calls weekly, but now there’s a tablet involved now too which means twice as many calls--that’s just great. 

My parents have always been loud…and not just because they’re losing their hearing—they literally have no concept of how loud they are in public and nor do they care.  Whenever I go on a trip, my parents always insist on taking me to the airport and sending me off with a proper goodbye.  My Dad felt that checking my luggage was a more than noteworthy photo opportunity.  And, thanks to the early onset of deafness, everyone in the check-in line with me got to hear my life story—I actually got the “Wow, I feel sorry for you” look more than a few times.  Another time, my Dad dropped my Mom and I off at the cruise ship terminal when we went to Alaska.  The terminal is fairly simply laid out, but the hard part was Dad parking the car and him trying to find us again inside the terminal.  Once he did, he created a HUGE scene to let everyone know what bullsh*t the entire system was and somewhere in there, the Canadian government got blamed.

Apparently the filter just completely disappears when you get older as well.  I went to the movies with my parents last year and I watched them treat the movie theatre as if it was their own personal living room.  They talked to each other through the whole movie, in a non-sound reduced way...fabulous.  And because of the losing of the hearing situation, they couldn’t hear me or anyone else shush-ing them throughout the entire movie.

I don’t know if stealing also becomes a problem with age, but when I was over at my parents place last, I opened a cupboard and out fell about two dozen Starbucks napkins  and an inordinate number of sugar packets, stir sticks and take-away cups.  Upon closer observation in their home, I noticed, to my horror, they had many items scattered around that are given as complimentary by coffee shops, restaurants, etc.  When I questioned them about it, all they could say is that it was there and free, so they took as many as they could.  Of course, why buy those things when you can just steal them?  That instantly brought me back to the days when we used to fly to Hawaii back in the 70’s--the age of tight pants (enter Tight Pants song from SNL).  My Dad would go into the washroom on the plane and would come out with as much of the little wrapped bar soap he could stuff in his tight pants as possible.  And you could see the outline of it all in his pockets, thanks again, to the tight pants.  We never had to buy soap...it all makes sense now.

My Dad is one of the smartest people I know.  He reads tonnes of scientific literature daily and also has single-handedly turned the Starbucks in Steveston into his own personal social house.  Everyone knows him there.  I can’t meet him there anymore to have quiet father/daughter time because random people just come up and sit with us.  

I think along with age comes a certain level of stubbornness too.  When my parents visit me, they park in my extra parking space in the underground next to my car.  One morning after their visit, I was leaving for work and noticed fresh oil where my Mom parked the night before (and I know the look of clean (and dirty) motor oil given my Neon had multiple fatal leaks in her dying days).  So, I called my Mom to let her know and she would have none of it.  “How do you know it’s oil?  Did you put your finger in it?  Have you smelled it?”  I don’t know about you, but I’m really not ready to stick my finger into something that emanates from a car’s engine just for the sake of proving a point.  

I can only hope to hell that there is no loss of mental faculties...or has that already started?  My Mom called me the other night to casually let me know that she heard on the news that the birth control pill I am taking has been rendered ineffective and women taking it are getting pregnant.  After my heart jumped through my chest, we quickly discovered that she had the name wrong--heaven forbid you may want to double check the name before you hit your daughter with something like that. 

I hear it from my friends in my generation too...everyone has a certain level of frustration dealing with their aging parents, and they’re only just boomer age in most cases.  God help us when they get into their 80’s!  I know from my line of work some of the challenges that the aging population and their children face, and the concerns are all too real.  And perhaps one day, it won’t be a laughing matter, but for now, with my parents, I shake my head in disbelief.  And, as I said above, I just try to find the humour, because if I don’t, I might just lose my mind, and then where would my parents be? 

Love you Mom and Dad xox 

MY LIFE AS A COMMUTER...PART 3

Denise’s Handy Driving Tips

In rounding out my series on commuting, I thought it prudent to include some helpful tips that might be useful when driving around the Vancouver area.  I have seen it all and feel the need to impart my knowledge and experience...sadly, much of what you are about to read is my way of coping on the road, but hey, I seem to get from A to B ok.  I will add though, that if you adapt any of my suggestions, I will not take responsibility for any negative repercussions you may experience.  

1.  The red “X” in the Stanley Park causeway means GET OUT OF THAT LANE.
Everyone who lives in the Vancouver area is familiar with Stanley Park and the Lions Gate Bridge, and the roadway-connector of the two called the Stanley Park causeway.  Originally when the bridge was built, it was only two lanes; however, within a short period of time the population grew on the North Shore and the two lanes were constructed into three.  There is a green and red lighting system above the lanes through the causeway that tells you which direction the middle lane is going.  Most people can ascertain whether they should be in that lane based on whether there is red “x” over it or not...yes, most people.  Ok, I get the tourists--maybe some of them have never seen a set up like that before and many-a-time have I watched an almost head-on collision to only have the tourist swerve out of the on-coming lane just in the nick of time.  But when those are BC plates doing that, it just makes you wonder as to what part of the giant red X above the lane didn’t we see?  Or do you really think you can “out-run” the X and make it to the other end of the bridge?  

2.  That bus is bigger than you.
This is a scary one.  And the reason I say that is because there are some bus drivers out there that will NOT yield or give way and almost purposefully cause an accident to teach you a lesson.  I’ve watched people really take their chances with the buses and I just cringe every time.  I will admit that I’ve had a couple of run-ins with bus drivers only because they think they’re driving a sports car--watching those cables come down from the wires on the trolly buses when you’re right next to one is enough to snap you back to reality in a heartbeat.  But still I see people zipping by, cutting off, and slamming on breaks all near, around and in front of buses whereby the car is almost crushed like a tin can if not for a few lucky seconds on the driver’s side.  The bus is bigger, and the chips on some of the shoulders of the bus drivers are even bigger, so be careful! 

3.  Rain is not snow last time I checked.
Vancouver is famous for it’s rain.  I quite enjoy it actually--perhaps it’s because I’ve lived here all my life and it makes no matter to me.  What I find interesting is that people on the road just freak out when the water hits the ground.  I fully agree that you need to slow down a little and be aware the roads can be somewhat slick, especially after a dry spell.  But it’s not snow!  We don’t have to cut our speed in half, do we?  I think all cars come with windshield wipers, right?

4.  One way usually means...one way.
I’ve been guilty of this, but only in downtown Seattle where there are one-way streets galore and I figured out pretty quickly what I had done (thanks Mom).  What I don’t get are people who can see that they are going down a one-way street, but keep going anyway!  They are being honked at, shouted at, gestured at, etc. but they still keep going anyway!  Yes, I understand that maybe you get all of the above typically, but if you hear that kind of noise going on around you, you may want to sit up and take notice.

5.  Putting a bunch of sh*t on your dash may impair your vision while driving.
This one I don’t get at all.  You can only have so many air fresheners in your car at one time.  How many things that bobble and move should one person own, AND have in their car at the same time?  If you’re driving, there’s no time to play with toys...so what’s the purpose?  To impede the potentially already impaired vision of the driver even further?   Eek.  Leave the toys at home people.

6.  If you can’t see cars in your rear view because of a giant blue cloud, you may want to take your car into the shop.
Hey, I’ve been there.  My neon blew enough burned oil out the tail pipe to single-handedly puncture a hole in the ozone, so I get that denial enters into the picture when it comes to your car.  But when the cars behind you are completely blinded in a thick blue fog thanks to your car’s toxic pollution output, let’s get it fixed already, no one needs to breathe in that crap.  

7.  If you can help it at all, don’t interact with the UPS drivers.
(See previous blog post for details on this one)

8.  Taking the HOV and pretending to talk to yourself is ok.
Sometimes I’ll use highway 99 to get home and when I do, there is no way I’m sitting in the tunnel traffic if I’m getting off at the exit right before.  So, the HOV lane is the perfect solution, but naturally, it’s a no-no if you’re the only one in the car, which is why I’ll pretend to talk to someone in the backseat if I get the evil eye from other drivers.  I have yet to come across any police, but the way I see it, I win either way (see tip # 10).

9.  Playing “lost tourist” is a necessity at times.
This is some people’s regular driving persona, and, sometimes there really are lost tourists out there.  I like to be a "lost tourist" to sneak into the Lion’s Gate bridge lane from the Stanley Park lane to avoid scads of traffic during rush hour in the morning.  It works well when you pretend to look up at the signs with a confused grimace on your face, throw your hands up into the air in disbelief, and then innocently catch the eye of a driver in the next lane to gain their sympathy to let you in front of them.  If possible, try to have a map handy for extra sympathy.  Of course, you could really push it and ignore the red “X” but then you run the risk of injury (see tip # 1). 

10.  It’s important to wave at the firemen and smile at the policemen, NOT.
When I was in New York, it was common place for women to interact with the firemen and policemen, and not just with a gentle wave or a little smile either--we’re talking full on shouting, etc. but then that’s just how things are in NYC anyway (which is why I fit in perfectly there).  When I brought that concept back to Vancouver, it didn’t work so well.  Sorry to my firemen friends for this, but I have to say that the firemen here, unlike NYC, DON’T reciprocate (or at least not often) with the waving back concept, nor do they look receptive to it in the first place.  Smiling at a policeman here is just plain stupid unless you want to be pulled over (so I do it all as often as possible).  It all comes from a place of respect for me, but perhaps the perception at their end is the opposite.  Regardless, between the uniform and my regard for what each do for a living, I will never stop waving and smiling, ever.