Levine Times Two = Fun Times Forty

Some people get really weirded-out when they hear that I am good friends with my ex-husband’s wife--in fact, not just some people, most people. Life doesn’t come with a set of rules--it’s society and ourselves that create conditioning around how things are supposed to look or supposed to be. I can safely say that there are not too many women who enjoy hanging out with their ex’s spouse, but then, I’m not most women. 

I kept my married name and so I have the same last name as Cheryl. She is awesome. By becoming an amazing step-mother to my autistic daughter, she instantaneously earned a thumbs up in my book. We always have fun when we’re together--we have the same boisterous, exuberant personality so out in public we can be quite the spectacle. Coupled with the fact that we really don’t care what people think, it makes for great fun together and we have a lot in common given we are both in our 40's. We can also be polar opposites in a lot of areas too though. For example, Cheryl loves to shop--she could shop all day, every day. I hate shopping. I go in, get what I want, and get out. I’d rather spend my time seeing things, taking photos, etc. and not trapped indoors and in line-ups with a bunch of people.

She came over for a visit at the end of the summer and we thought it would be fun to go to Seattle. The rationale was to do a combination of shopping AND seeing the sights in order to appease each other. When making a trip across the border these days, if you want to bring anything back from the US without paying duty, you have to spend more than a day there--even then, there’s a cap on what dollar amount you can bring back based on the length of your stay. So naturally, if you’re going to go, why not stay for an overnight? It’s doesn’t guarantee you a hassle-free experience at the border on the way back, but it’s worth a try.

We hopped in my Rav4 and away we went. Sure enough, even early on a Sunday morning there was a gigantic line up (neither of us have Nexus yet), so it was time for a small purchase at the Duty Free. The $5 spent on jelly beans and shortbread were worth their weight in gold to move us ahead by about 30 cars in the line up.

After we crossed the border, we thought it would be wise to have breakfast before we go crazy in the shops, you know, store up some energy, so we decided on Applebee’s. If you really enjoy a large portion of nutritionally devoid food with the onset of a slight sick feeling afterward, then I would highly recommend going there.

Once the poor dining experience was over and the nausea passed, we bee-lined it to Nordstrom Rack in Lynnwood. Ladies, if you want ridiculous deals on high-end name brand shoes that may be a season or two behind, this is the place for you. $15 Michael Kors shoes? Hello! All of a sudden, shopping wasn’t so bad. We went with the concept of divide and conquer. There were enablers everywhere in there--the staff, the women--even the husbands (I really don’t understand men who shop with their women FOR their women--yikes). When we re-united after 20 minutes, my cart was full of shoes, socks for Antonia, a couple of skirts, and whack of Betsey Johnson jewelry that was about 70% off. Cheryl had picked out two pairs of shoes, and even that was iffy--she was a shopaholic tease! We got up to the cash till, and being the great financial planner that I am, I didn’t realize that the total would be that out of line--being around all those shoes tends to skew my sense of reality. So after the cashier had bagged everything, reluctantly, I asked her to take a few things out, including a pair of Betsey boots that I didn’t really need (yeah right). The cashier was clearly overwhelmed, so after I paid, Cheryl picked up all my bags and as we start walking, whispers “Hurry up, I think the boots are in here.” I’m thinking “What??”, but we high-tailed it to the car, and peeled out of the parking lot like criminals and I was freaking out. We got to the gas station across the bridge--and keep in mind, I have not stolen a thing in my life--and all I can think of is OMG the cashier accidentally gave me the boots...AWESOME! You can imagine my disappointment when we actually looked in the bags and the boots weren’t there--Cheryl just thought the bags were too heavy so the boots must have been in the pile of bags...nope. So we weren’t thieves after all...so much for living on the edge. 

Next stop--the hotel. When it came to where to stay, that was easy--The Fairmont Olympic. Great location, amazing building, and a plethora of wonderful childhood memories for me. It used to be the Four Seasons up until the mid-2000’s. My favourite Uncle who passed away a few years back worked at the Four Seasons in Vancouver for 35 years so we would go down to Seattle regularly and stay there when I was a kid. 

Seattle is a city that I could see myself living in. It’s very similar to Vancouver, just a bit more historic and with way more one-way streets. We opted NOT to go to the Space Needle only because last time I tried that with my Mom, we took a wrong turn and I ended up driving to Aurora on a freeway without exits for 25 minutes. Instead we decided to drive around the downtown core and go for a walk on the waterfront. Funny, Seattle is just like Vancouver in that as a tourist, you’ll be walking through the touristy area (Pioneer Square for Seattle and Gastown for Vancouver) and then take one step too many and land right in the scary part of town. The Hemp Fest was on, so the waterfront as a little crowded. I was in utter disbelief that there is free parking on Sundays at the water--we must have read the sign about 50 times to be certain that this foreign concept was correct.

For dinner, we settled on Purple, right at University and 5th. One word: DELISH. The ambiance was fabulous too...they have a giant wine cellar that spirals right up to the top of the 3 story-open concept restaurant. The night ended with a jump into the hotel’s hot tub and pool, and for me after Cheryl had gone to sleep, a stroll around the hotel when no one was around (it was about 1am). That’s my favourite time to take pictures and also to breathe in all the history this hotel exudes. I took some amazing shots that brought back a plethora of childhood memories of running around the ballrooms and hiding in the giant curtains.

When we left the next day, it seemed as though we just got there. We did one last shop at Nordstrom Rack downtown, and headed towards the Outlet Mall. Once there, I did not enjoy the experience, possibly because I wasn’t interested in shopping anymore and neither was my visa, but mainly because people were so pushy and rude. I was quite shocked--especially in the Coach store. Hey, I love handbags, but how much Coach sh*t does one person need--according to what I saw, apparently a lot. We got the hell out of there as soon as possible (with no deals to be found), and headed for something to quench our thirst. And I certainly found it when we went through the McDonald’s drive thru to end up with THE largest unsweetened iced tea (it must have been at least 2 liters) I have ever seen. Cheryl ordered the 2 liter diet Pepsi, and between the two of us, we were wired on major caffeine with several bathroom stops as we made our way to Bellingham.

We saw lots of interesting things while driving. There was one part of the highway where they had one of those signs up that show what the speed limit should be and then your speed--everyone else got a number flashed at them--I just got an unhappy face. Naturally we burst out laughing at that--only I would get the unhappy face. At one point, we passed an inordinate amount of hay trucks all in a row driving next to us, and it soon became like a video game called avoid-the-random-tufts-of-hay-from-hitting-your-car-and-windshield. On the way back while heading to the border, we noticed that every single exit had about 5 fast food choices available on the sign. Mexican food was always one of the choices--even to the point where one of the signs indicated there was a Taco Bell, a Taco Time AND a Taco Del Mar--that’s just craziness...oh the choice!

Once in Bellingham, we stopped in at Marshall’s and noticed that the closer you get to the Canadian border, the lesser of a deal you get at the shops (although I did find a cute little pair of cowboy boots there). Trader Joe’s was the final place we needed to go and after we loaded up on low priced, GMO-free, organic groceries, I knew I was exhausted when Cheryl had asked if she could just use the washroom at Starbucks before we head back, and I said “Sure, we’ll just go through the drive-thru.”

We swapped spots in the car so she could handle the border situation--I really suck at it thanks to what my parents did to me as a child when we crossed the border (see my blog post “The Great Bargain Caper” for details). I just kept my mouth shut (Cheryl suggested I chew gum) while she engaged in a wonderful conversation with the female border guard that was just casually chit-chatting at 11pm on a Monday night with a one hour wait behind us.

When we got home, we still had enough energy to look at all the fab things we bought (I far outweighed Cheryl in the purchase department). We also talked about what an amazing time we had together. I really cherish my relationship with Cheryl--she and Geoff are like family to me and I feel very lucky to have them in my life.  Do we still weird people out with us hanging out together? Yes. Will that ever change? Not as long as there are places in this world where you can shop AND supposedly see the sights.

Mars and Venus Venture Off Course

A friend’s recent situation inspired me to write this blog post. I’ve always thought that the older we get, the more respectful we become as a person, with friends and family, and also with matters of the heart. What I’m discovering is that it appears to be quite the opposite at times. My friend’s relationship issue just showed me a glimpse of how much we protect ourselves at the risk of hurting others, and it made me stop and think.

I suppose it’s actually society that sits at the top of the food chain when it comes to interpersonal communication, but it’s always the relationship between men and women that is highlighted. Assumptions are abundant, and everything has to mean something these days. Why? A simple gesture of being polite or neighbourly is greeted with a frown or massive look of confusion. Oh my god! I smiled at you--I clearly want to marry you and have your children. Yeah right.

My belief system is based on the concept “Do what you want, as long as you don’t harm anyone or anything”. I consider myself to be quite selfish at times, but not to the point where I hurt anyone. What I have seen as of late, specifically through my friend’s situation, is that some men AND women don’t seem to care if they hurt someone through their actions. Or, if they do care, they don’t show it, which, to the other person, is the same as not caring at all (mind-reading is not a typical human trait).

It makes no matter whether you’re in the dating world or not, women are always saying men are jerks. Men are always saying women are crazy. The reality is that some people are not only jerks but are also crazy, and more importantly, it transcends gender. There are some people out there that are just plain frightening regardless of whether they live on Mars or Venus, so to speak. Examples I’ve seen lately tell me that this whole Mars and Venus thing can really be just an excuse for men and women to act certain ways. I had one of my guy friends tell me years ago that it’s normal for guys to cheat because they have been hardwired since the beginning of time to plant their seed. If we were still in the Paleolithic Era I would say yes, I see your point. But last time I checked, it’s 2013...give me a f’ing break.

If we agree that we’re all human (although there are some people that believe aliens have invaded the planet), then unless you are mentally incapacitated, is it fair to say that most people, whether you are a guy or a girl, know the carnal difference between right and wrong? You can assume the answer is yes, but what I am discovering, which should be no surprise, is that everyone acts, thinks, talks, reacts, etc. based on what they have been exposed to and what they have experienced in their life. So the answer is really a big, fat, subjective “no”, and moreover, trying to logicalize someone’s behaviour can drain your brain. I’ve learned to realize that unless you have lived in that person’s exact shoes, you’ll never really know how they see things. One reality; two different experiences and viewpoints <enter relationship issues>.

Bizarre and illogical behaviour comes in all shapes and sizes. I’ve seen people get dumped through a text. Or how many times have I heard, “He just never called me again”. Been there myself. What I find interesting is the lack of respect that seems to be extremely abundant and come to the forefront amongst the population in recent years, and is now (or I’m just noticing it) popping up my generation (I’m in my early 40’s). With the age of social media growing exponentially, I am hopeful that my generation for the most part is still at the stage of open and honest communication that doesn’t involve hiding behind our opposable thumbs. My hopefulness has now turned to more of a cautiously optimistic stance, but it’s positive nonetheless.

Time and energy are two things that should be carefully spent. You only have so much of each. I choose to live my life where I will continue to put myself out there to be kind, courteous, and communicative to my fellow humans, man or woman, whether I know them or not, and whether they like it or not. My intentions are always good. I will always have a smile on my face. The filter is shrinking with age, and I’m finding it easier to ditch the political correctness (how can you tell).

I wish for all of us that we can just say what we want to say, always with respect, but just get it out. And most importantly, whether you’re a Martian or a Venusian, garner the respect you deserve, give others the respect they deserve, and always be true to yourself. Life is just so much happier that way...that, and karma can be a bit of a bitch.

Shakespeare Please...Bard on the Beach Style

I’ve been lucky that for two years in a row now, I’ve been to London’s Globe Theatre to see the best traditionally-performed Shakespeare in the world.  The first year, I thought it would be fun to stand in the courtyard, the cheap seats if you will (it lost its appeal very quickly when my back started to ache within the first act and I couldn’t bend down in the book store later), and the second year I sat on the bench with a cushion which was helpful but still not the most comfortable. But hey, that’s what you get when you are given an authentic back-in-the-day Shakespeare experience, which is exactly what the Globe Theatre provides, from the seats, to the theatre, the acting, right down to the costumes. Outside of Stratford-Upon-Avon, you won’t find anything closer to the real thing.

Living in Vancouver can make it hard to visit the Globe regularly, so the next best thing to England’s plays would be Bard on the Beach. Each year they produce four plays in a variety of styles, eras, costumes, accents, etc. all within the fabulous Vanier Park which provides a magnificent back-drop to the company’s main stage tent.

For years, I have been the traditionalist when it comes to how the plays are produced--I prefer the period dress and performances as if I was back in the 16th century. Going to England only furthered that sentiment, and I’m not even English (although apparently I can start speaking with an English accent all of sudden without realizing it).

That having been said, I have always immensely enjoyed my eight years plus of attending Bard on the Beach. My friend Ron is a member and has been for quite some time. Each year he gets two Bard packs (if you purchase all four plays you are given a discount) and away we go. Long gone are the days where you had to “claim” your seat by writing your name (or a reasonable facsimile of who you wanted to be) and then when the gates opened, you had to run like mad and stick the name on the seat you wanted. I always chose the name of a goddess like Athena or Venus--it made for good conversation with the people around me when I went back to my seat. Now there is assigned seating when you purchase the tickets which makes the whole experience that much more relaxing without the possibility of anyone getting mowed down in the process.

The gift shop housed inside the village is great--it has everything and anything Shakespeare you can think of. A book of insults, magnetic poetry, finger puppets, aprons and t-shirts, and the list goes on. Sadly, I basically have the store in my home, minus the finger-puppets. They also have some tasty refreshments too. We always tend to grab a bite to eat before going; however, if you need to eat upon your arrival, they have sandwiches now and a plethora of snacks and drinks. The main attraction for me is the caramel corn--and some sort of beverage to avoid any kind of coughing fit during the play. Lastly, to complete the village experience (and more importantly a biological necessity), and this may seem like an odd thing to mention, but the portable washrooms are very nice, and I mean that sincerely. They do not smell at all, and there is hand-sanitizer everywhere. The first year I went I remember thinking, “Oh how cool, they even have a purse-holder in here!”. I quickly realized just as the handbag almost touched down, that it was not a place for my purse but rather, it was a urinal. There’s nothing further that needs to be said on that subject.

Going to the plays this year, I opened my eyes a little further to what I was seeing in each of the shows, and realized that the Bard on the Beach productions are truly quite unique. The Twelfth Night was set at a spa in the early 1900’s. Hamlet was done modern day with the use of cell phones and iPads. Measure For Measure brought us back to the New Orleans about a century ago, with southern accents to boot. And lastly, Elizabeth Rex--a play that was not written by Shakespeare but rather had him in it, so indeed a different perspective on Queen Elizabeth’s life, all done in period dress. I was extremely impressed, especially given my traditionalist viewpoint of what Shakespeare “should” be.

The acting, the singing, the sets, the costumes--all incredible, talented performers, directors, producers, set creators and costume designers. Even though I already knew this, it was this year in particular that made me realize Shakespeare is truly timeless. Bard on the Beach has proven that year over year, with their use of creative variety on the classic plays, they are able to capture an audience of all age groups and bring to life for us something we can relate to in our lives now. It just proves that what was written over 500 years ago is still relevant today, it’s all just how you interpret it.

I rave about my experience each year that I go, and will always continue to do so. Get out there and enjoy those performances--abandon your thoughts around the Shakespeare you learned in school and open up to a whole new world. I promise, you won’t be disappointed. And, maybe someday, there will be purse-holders in the portable washrooms...I think Hamlet said it best: ”Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t.”